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Chapter 458: For My Beloved Little Brother (2)

Si-Hun gritted his teeth as he was sitting on his bed.

Shatter!

Ferocious energy poured out from him, causing the photo album on his desk to fall to the ground.

“Ah.”

Si-Hun looked up in bewilderment. He stood from his bed and walked to the fallen album containing a photo of a smiling Kang-Woo with his arm, holding a kebab, resting on Si-Hun’s shoulder.

Si-Hun lifted the photo they had taken back when they went to Caldesann and carefully brushed off the glass fragments.

“Hyung,” Si-Hun muttered.

He felt like something was weighing down on his chest.

“We’re brothers now, aren’t we?”

Kim Tae-Hyun’s mocking voice echoed inside Si-Hun’s head. He clenched his fists tightly.

“You don’t know anything.”

Si-Hun was boiling with rage despite knowing that it was nothing to be angry over.

‘After all the hard work I put in… to stay as his little brother.’

Si-Hun did not like the fact that Tae-Hyun had appointed himself to be in the same position as him.

Si-Hun relaxed his fists. He quelled his rage and shook his head. “Haaa. How pathetic am I?”

He scolded himself for having a loser’s mindset as he gathered the glass fragments on the ground and threw them in the trash bin.

‘Well, at least he doesn’t seem to be scheming anything bad.’

Tae-Hyun’s hostility toward him was likely due to his excessive loyalty toward Kang-Woo; it did not seem to be stemming from ill intentions.

‘And…’

Tae-Hyun was able to be of more help to Kang-Woo than Si-Hun.

Si-Hun slowly raised his hand. His Qi gathered using the principle of Formless Sword, creating a sword shining blue in the air.

‘Deific Essence.’

That was the difference between him and Tae-Hyun. His ability that seemed as if he was seeing the future was certainly a hindrance, but there was a way around it. However, no such way existed for Deific Essence.

‘What do I need to do… to acquire it?’

Si-Hun was drawing a blank. It felt like he was facing an insurmountable wall. It was the first wall he was facing as one who possessed astonishing talent thanks to his Heavenly Martial Physique.

“Haaa,” Si-Hun sighed deeply again.

The blue sword in the air turned into tiny particles and dissipated. His thoughts were jumbled. He looked down at the photo that he took out of the broken photo album.

“Thanks… for staying as my little brother.”

Kang-Woo’s words that had guided him toward salvation echoed in his head. His frown relaxed and he smiled.

“Yeah. There’s no need for me to compare myself to him.”

Si-Hun shook his head as he thought about Tae-Hyun. The relationship between himself and Kang-Woo was not simply that of brothers. They were not related by blood but Si-Hun considered Kang-Woo to be more than his older brother, and Kang-Woo thought the same.

‘If not, there would be no reason for him to say that to me.’

The weight on Si-Hun’s chest lightened and his jumbled thoughts cleared up.

‘I can think of him to be about the same level as Tae-Soo.’

There was no reason for Si-Hun to think hard about it; he could just treat Tae-Hyun the same way that he treated Tae-Soo. After all, Tae-Hyun was now a member of Guardians.

“Maybe I’ll ask him for a duel next time.”

Si-Hun might be able to find a clue that would allow him to surpass the wall blocking his growth.

‘I’ll train with Balrog today.’

He wanted to move around a little more, possibly because he lost to Tae-Hyun. Si-Hun left the room, his steps much lighter than before.

***

“Huuu, huu,” Si-Hun panted heavily as he lay on the ground after his duel with Balrog.

“Did something happen to you today?” asked Balrog after he put on the pendant to return to human form.

“Why do you ask?”

“You’re a little more desperate than usual.”

Si-Hun narrowed his eyes, not sure what Balrog was talking about. “What does that mean?”

“It means exactly what I said. You were fighting as if something was chasing you. Oh… well, you were like that in the past too.”

“...”

“Rather, that desperation of yours has been severely lacking lately.”

“What are you talking about…?”

“Are you not aware of it?” Balrog snorted and continued, “You are no longer desperate after the battle against Tai Wuji.”

Si-Hun felt as if he had been hit on the back of the head with a sledgehammer. His eyes widened and he trembled slightly. “I’m… not desperate?”

“Correct.”

“Bullshit. I simply haven’t had enough time lately because I’ve been killing monsters. I haven’t been slacking on my training.”

“That is not what I’m saying,” Balrog answered firmly. “I am simply saying that you have lost your desperation.”

“That’s the same th—”

“No. They are different.”

“...”

“In the past, every single swing you took was filled with desperation. Each of your movements felt as if you were frantically chasing after something.”

“...”

“But not anymore. You are… no longer desperate.”

“Ngh.”

Si-Hun bit his lip and glared at Balrog. Balrog’s words felt like they were gutting him.

‘No.’ Si-Hun shook his head, denying Balrog’s words. ‘I’ve been training more desperately than anyone to catch up to hyung.’

“I’m gonna go,” Si-Hun muttered.

“Very well.”

Balrog smirked as he stared at Si-Hun turning around temperamentally and walking away. Si-Hun left Balrog’s house. He could see people busily filling the streets after leaving the barrier that blocked regular people from entering.

Si-Hun put on a hat and mask to conceal his face and trudged along.

‘I lack… desperation?’

Balrog’s words echoed in his head. Displeasure spread throughout his body as an unknown sense of anxiety took over.

“Thanks… for staying as my little brother.”

Kang-Woo’s words once again echoed in his head, erasing the displeasure that he was feeling. The anxiety disappeared before Si-Hun had realized it.

“Haha,” Si-Hun laughed as his expression relaxed.

‘Yeah, there’s no need to worry.’

He had already overcome his trauma. Balrog’s words that Si-Hun lacked desperation were referring to Si-Hun back when he was controlled by his trauma.

‘Of course, I wouldn’t feel like the same person as back then.’

Si-Hun was saved by Kang-Woo, his beloved older brother. He was freed from his lifelong curse.

“I should call hyung-nim later.”

Si-Hun walked along with a smile.

***

“Hyung-nim?”

- Yeah, Si-Hun?

“Are you free to talk right now?”

- Sorry… I’m hanging out with Tae-Hyun right now.

“Again?”

- Yeah. I’ll call you later.

“Oh… Okay, hyung-nim.”

- Is anything going on with you? I’ve barely seen you lately because I’ve been so busy.

“Haha. I’m fine.”

- Okay. I’ll call you later.

Kang-Woo hung up.

“He must be busy,” Si-Hun muttered.

Kang-Woo was busy helping Tae-Hyun adapt to the various duties of being a Guardians member for the past week.

“It’s only natural since hyung-nim does a lot of other things besides that.”

Kang-Woo was so busy that Si-Hun worried for his wellbeing. He was so busy with matters of the divine realm, Aernor, and Earth that Si-Hun had no time to talk to him.

“Haha. Yeah… It can’t be helped.” Si-Hun closed his eyes. “...”

Thud.

“Ah…”

Si-Hun had dropped his smartphone. He picked it up and put it on his desk.

He lay on his bed.

‘The abnormal Gate phenomenon reported yesterday was resolved by Tae-Hyun.’

There had been no other reports after that. Si-Hun slowly fell asleep.

“Ah.” He woke up several hours later and got out of bed. “I fell asleep before I realized it.”

Si-Hun had thought about having another training session with Balrog, but he had fallen asleep for several hours. He fixed his disheveled hair and went out of his room.

“Mm?” He came across Kang-Woo sitting in a chair after reaching the meeting room. “Hyung—”

As he was about to greet Kang-Woo with a smile…

Vrrrr.

“Yeah, Tae-Hyun? What’s up?”

Kang-Woo was talking to someone over the phone. Si-Hun’s smile froze.

“Yeah. I’m over by the Hall of Protection.”

Si-Hun clenched his fists tightly without realizing it.

***

‘He’s here.’

Kang-Woo subtly glanced over to the hallway and saw Si-Hun staring at him.

‘Well, then.’

Kang-Woo kept the smartphone over his ear and continued with a smile, “How’s the training going?”

There was no answer.

“Really? Haha, that’s a relief.”

Kang-Woo continued to speak to himself.

“Yeah. I’ll head over there once I finish going through this paperwork.”

‘Si-Hun. You understand, right? You know I’m doing this for you, right?’

“Haha. Yeah, okay. I’ll see you there.”

‘You’ve gotta surpass the wall blocking you and acquire Deific Essence too. I’m doing all of this for your sake.’

“Tae-Hyun.”

‘Okay? You feel me, right? You know that I have no choice but to do this even though it breaks my heart, right?’

“You have no idea how much of a relief it is you have you with me.”

‘Right? I have no choice, right? I’m not a fucking scumbag, right?’

“Thanks… for staying as my little brother.”

Kang-Woo spoke as naturally as he breathed despite his growing sense of guilt.

erigiii’s Thoughts

Nah bruh I’m not a fan of this sort of gaslighting LMAO